I want my heart to be with you
by Scarletmage
Summary: this is an aj fic.Jonathan's depressed, and Alanna Gary and Raoul are called in to help him get through it. CHAPTER 3 IS UP!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: a total a/j ff, you must excuse the mushy scenes, i just couldn't help it. all characters belong to TP, i'm just an obsessed fan. jonathan's mentally unstable and has been for weeks after tahyet left him for another man outsdie of Tortall's borders. george died in the Scanran war a yeasr or so ago, and Gary, raoul and Alanna take it in turns to constantly mind jon. I don't know why it's called what it is.  
  
*~I~WANT~MY~HEART~TO~BE~WITH~YOU~*  
Alanna and Raoul stood in one of the palace's many hallways, meeting up after Alanna's shift with Jonathan. After Thayet had left him the King hadn't really cared about much about the wife he had lost- in fact it was he who exterminated their marriage after Thayet had cheated on him for the fourth time. It wasn't until a year after Thayet had left Tortall did Jonathan collapse. His best friends- Alanna, Raoul and Gary- had all decided that after Jon's first attempt of suicide through depression that at least one of them would be with Jon at a time. "I just don't know what he gets upset about. Sometimes he looks at me without seeing me. It's freaky."  
"I know. He's not upset about Thayet- he's at least said that. I wonder if Gary can get any info out of him." The very same Gary approached them, his hands waving. "Hey guys! Raoul, aren't you meant to be watching Jon…"  
"Uh, no. It's actually your turn Gary. Wait a sec, if none of us are watching him and…"   
Alanna sprinted of down the hallway towards the Royal bedchambers. Flinging the door open she lunged herself onto Jon and they dropped to the floor together in a tangled pile of arms and legs. Jon struggled underneath her to raise the dagger back to his throat and Alanna grabbed the threatening hand. "Oh no you don't.' She told him as they continued to squirm on the floor. Finally getting the dagger well away from Jon Alanna sat up on him; she had ended up on top. Smiling she waved the dagger in Jon's face. "Sorry Jon. You know we can't let you kill yourself. It would be wrong." He cursed and tried to get away from under Alanna but she continued to straddle his waist. She knew that Jon wouldn't be able to comprehend what she was saying, he was in one of his insane lapses. She stayed there until finally, after they had both caught their breaths; Jon was back to his normal self. "Thanks Alanna. I don't know what I would do if you weren't here." She smiled.   
"Jon, why are you so depressed? I mean-it's not Thayet- then why? You have 5 loving children, Gary, Raoul and me. There's nothing wrong in your life. Why are you like this?"  
Jon sighed and turned his head so that Alanna couldn't see his face.   
"I don't know." The emotion in his voice was unmistakable. " I guess I just realised that I have failed what I planned to do with my life." Alanna laughed aloud.   
"Jon, you're a great King, one of the best-I swear." A ragged, bitter laugh escaped his mouth. "That's not what I want. I once told Gary, after fathers' suicide, that I would find someone that I loved as much as my father loved my mother, enough to die for-and marry her. I haven't married her Alanna, have I?" Alanna put on her 'thoughtful' face although she didn't know she had- Jon just knew that was how she was thinking. "Are you even sure that you've met her? Maybe you will in the future and there's nothing to be upset about." Jon's sapphire blue eyes filled with sadness and impossible love. He didn't think that he could ever tell his Lioness the way he truly felt-she would run away. Sighing for the impossibility of the situation Jon nodded and went to sit. It did havoc for his senses to have her sitting on his crutch, but that was the key position for immobility in wrestling and she was trained. Smiling, what Jon thought flirtatiously, she rolled off him onto the floor and stood, for the moment taller than him. Smiling up at her he stood and went to his study. He was King of Tortall and had his duties.  
Alanna yawned and flopped very ungraciously on the bed. It was her week of sleeping on the cot in Jon's room-they didn't trust him to remain sane even in his sleep. "G' night Jon. Sweet dreams." She whispered and her breathing slowed to the pace of sleep. "Good night Lioness. They will be, of you."  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Alanna awoke to the aroma of a man. Forcing her eyes open she was confronted with Jon right in her face. His tanned skin was criss-crossed with little scars from his youth as an active knight, his eyes had the rings about them that showed fatherhood. His eyes… Alanna had never realised how deep the blue was, totally pure and as beautiful as the sea. She could lose herself in those eyes… Drawing in a ragged breath- how could she thinking such thoughts! - Alanna smiled a greeting, half-afraid that Jon had relapsed into one of his less sane moments. He grinned back at her and hope flared inside Alanna until he lent down to ease his lips onto hers.  
Alanna froze as her blood raced and sweet heat rushed through her body. An involuntary groan escaped her and jon moved his arms under her small body. Carrying her opver to his bed he kissed her again, running his hands up and down her breats and waist. She tilted her head so Jon could get a better position as he climbed on top of her small body and into her heart. "I love you."  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Gary stalked the halls on his way to the King's rooms. It had been Alanna's night to guard Jon last night and Gary secretly hoped beyond hope that somehow Jon would come to his senses and tell Alanna of his feelings. But he didn't really expect anything as he walked through the door leading to Jon's room. Jumping back in surprise and pleasant shock, gary gasped. After making sure that he saw wasn't an illusion he ran off to find Raoul and tell him of the good news.   
"What?!" Raoul yelped and Gary nodded, "Alanna and Jon. Together. In bed." A sly smile spread across Raoul's face. "It's about time those two got back together again." Gary had to agree. After being told that Alanna was a girl both men had immediately come to the conclusion that Alanna and Jon were lovers, and meant-to-be. But when Alanna had married George and Jon Thayet the men had returned to betting on others' lives. After the almost miracle that was both Thayet and George's disappearances from Tortall Raoul and Gary had begun planning yet again for Alanna and Jon to be lovers. Gary had already prepared a statement saying that when Alanna and Jon were married Alanna didn't have to perform all of the duties as Queen, for she would be a new title on it's own: Warrior Queen. This meant that she would be able to fight and still marry Jon, it was also perfectly legal. Smiling the two decided to make Alanna have the majority of night shift with Jon and a lot of the day ones. Life had taken an interesting turn for the two men.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Staring at the ceiling Alanna listening to the smooth breathing of the man lying next to her. His arm was firmly wrapped around her waist but Alanna didn't mind a bit. It was funny, this new feeling, but not totally new. It was familiar, as if she had felt that way before, but she simply couldn't remember when. All she knew was that she was happy as a bird and felt like flying. Giggling at her own thoughts and then finding her sensible self again her mind followed the track of one main issue- what would she say to Jon when he awoke? Did she really want to be in this relationship? That answer was easy- yes. Would he still want her or would he wake up and regret it immediately?  
When Jonathan awoke later that morning he found Alanna not in his arms but on her cot, by his bed, reading. Cursing under his breath Jon sat up stiffly. It must have been a dream. But if it was why did he feel like this? Praying that Alanna had some answers but being afraid to ask the question straight out Jon ventured, "How long have I been asleep?" Alanna jumped, spun around and found it was only him. Planting her hands on her hips his Lioness glared at him. He smiled cheekily, "So the Lioness isn't so tough after all. Did I scare you, my lady?" Getting an even bigger greasy from her hadn't clarified what happened last night. He gestured for her to sait beside him and she did. Wrapping his arms around her small frame he whispered, "Please don't laugh but I, um. Well, look, Lioness… what actually happened last night and what was my sick imagination?" Alanna giggled as he kissed her cheek, going by her apparent good mood. 'I think that you'll find that answer if you check whether you have any clothes on." She told him and went out of the room, pausing briefly to give him one of those smiles as he realised that he was naked, and left. 


	2. chapter 2 (how original! ;))

A/N: a bit shorter than the last chapter, and the 3rd is half the size. please review, i know it can be a pain, but please do, i'll love u 4eva!!! thanx 2 the people who reveiwed last time, I love reading reviews!!!!  
  
enjoy!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Chapter 2*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Alanna, great! I was wondering, could you look after Jon today? I mean, I know you had the shift last night and all but I'm really busy today and…" Gary explained but was cut short as a naked Jon, wrapping a sheet around his waist, entered the King's front room. "I'll go now." And he hurried outside. Turning on him Alanna hit him on the chest.  
  
"Oh, BRAVO Jon." She said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Now the whole palace will be talking about us!" Not realising that she'd hurt him Jon became angry- didn't she want to be in his arms at night? He knew that he wanted her. Anger made him stiff with her. "Who cares? They already have us in bed. I don't see what the difference is if we are actually doing it. They'll still talk."  
  
Anger took over the Lioness like lava in a volcano- deadly and unable to be controlled. "I care! I'm a widow-for the goddess' sake Jon! I don't want everyone knowing my personal business! They've already been prying enough since George died. I thought you'd understand!" the tears threatening in her eyes spoke for themselves and Jon came closer to comfort her. Finding it impossible to do so without any hands he murmured "Hold this for me, would you?" laughing through her silent tears of frustration Alanna took hold of the blanket and let Jon embrace her. She wished he'd never let go for eternity.  
  
Jon looked down at the small woman burying her face in his chest, her silent tears washing the sweat away from his body. He bent down to speak in her ear, "I love you, you know. Have done so since I was eighteen. Never stopped." The last part shocked Alanna and she stiffened- how could he marry someone else yet still love her? "Thayet understood. When we met I explained and she agreed to it. Don't worry about me. Alanna?" answering to his inquiring tone Alanna glanced up, violet eyes radiating. He gently took Alanna's face in his hands and kissed her passionately, his arms wrapping around Alanna's back, urging her into his embrace. A groan escaped one of them, Alanna didn't know who, as Jonathan took his Lioness into his bed for the second time in hours.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Much later Alanna lay in Jonathan's arms, happy just to be there with him, although she had a feeling that Jon wanted to talk to her about something. "What is it Jon?"  
  
"Hmm? Oh nothing my sweet. I was just thinking."  
  
"About what?" She kissed his cheek. Turning to her he smiled and kissed her back. "About you." Alanna instantly guessed what that meant and blushed but before she could silence him he continued. "And how much I love you. I was wondering if…  
  
A/N: i think you can all figure out what he said. But what will Alanna say are they taking it too fast? And what about the children?i want reviews otherwise I won't continue- lets make it 10. Just think- I'm being nice :) 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: last chapter. Jon25me, how do you know exactly how I think about Alanna and jon??? It's freaky! please review, thanks 2 everyone who did last time: Jon25me; starfire; magixpawn; kiria; violeteyes; Alanna; j. !!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Chapter 3*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Myles!!!!!!!" Alanna yelled running throughout the corridor of the Noble's wing. Stopping a servant she demanded "Where's Myles?"  
  
"My Lady." He bowed. "Baron Myles in the teaching rooms. He is in the middle of class. If you would like me to take a message…"  
  
"This is too important for a message. Thank you anyway." She nodded and the servant left. Cursing- she would have to interrupt the Page's class- Alanna ran toward what she thought would be Myles' classroom, as it was when she was a page.  
  
Knock! Knock! Knock! Myles went to the door. "Excuse me. You can talk amongst yourselves for the moment, but QUIETLY." He opened the door to see Alanna, her cheeks a flushed red from running her hair tangles with the speed of her pace. "We need to talk." Myles didn't question it. It looked as if Alanna had seen either an advancing army or a walking dead man. Stepping outside of the room he whispered, "What is it?" Taking a deep breath to prepare herself she answered,  
  
"Jon proposed last night."  
  
"…And?" Myles prompted, he'd suspected this from "certain men's" hints.  
  
"I don't know the answer!" He laughed.  
  
"I think you do, just don't want to admit it."  
  
"Myles!" Alanna exclaimed, frustrated at her foster father's aloofness. "I'm serious!"  
  
"I am too. There would be no financial problem, you wouldn't really have to be all lady-like: the realm has got along fine with you acting as co-ruler for 7 years. The children- well they're all close enough to be kin, let alone step siblings. Jon has changed for the better, he wouldn't want you to be like a lady, as he's proved that over the past decade. You've both changed a lot since last time, for good I think. It just matters whether you love him." Silence, then-  
  
"I do." She whispered.  
  
"Well then. If you agree to all that I've said, now don't take this meaning you have too, I would advise you to say yes." Nodding Alanna looked up at her father, broke inot a huge grin and hugged him. "I'm glad that you agree with my decision." She added in is ear and left Myles with a shocked expression on his face. She hadn't wanted his advice; she just wanted his agreement to her choice! Ah, the devious ways of the Lioness.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The plans proceeded and Jon made it clear to the public that Alanna's role really wouldn't change, she'd been acting as Queen since Thayet left Jon, it's just that she would have to official title now. No one was to expect her to dress up fancily all of the time; she was the Lioness with her own free will. Months passed as, almost inevitably, Myles had many fittings for proper courtiers' clothes, under both Eleni and Alanna's instruction. Alanna had numerous, and in her opinion, pointless fitting sessions in which all of the men in the noble's wing slipped away, they weren't suicidal. The many layers of Alanna's dress each had to be fitted individually, causing the fitter, Lalasa, to hire jugglers or other people to entertain the Lady Knight, at the crown's expense of course. Alanna soon found out that Lalasa had been Keladry's maid and insisted that Kel came up and suffered there too. Jonathan made many visits, mainly to laugh at the outraged look on Alanna face. Alanna was known to cry "Not more layers!" and she simply refused to spend more than three hours a day for fittings. Life building up to the wedding was amusing yet stressful, especially for the Lioness.  
  
No matter what, they were meant to be and nothing would stop them from being together, loving each other. Later in their lives they would conquer all enemies and lived to a ripe old age. Their hearts were made for each other, until death and beyond, Jonathan and his Lioness.  
  
A/N: the end!! Now, if u review I'll be ever-so-happy, if not, I'll never post again!! Ha! Oh yeah, I know the last part wasn't that good, but bear with me: how are you meant to explain "they got married and lived happily ever after" in a fic that's info was told mainly by dialogue WITHOUT it looking weird?  
  
Hope you enjoyed it, Alanna and Jon forever more!!!!!!! REVIEW!! 


End file.
